I’ve always considered my average. I never really thought that I was special in any particular way. Growing up, I think there were times I thought I was “less than”. I was a chubby, shy kid and school was all (I thought) I was good at. My parents couldn’t afford for me to wear the clothes or have the toys all the “cool” kids had and I was always yearning to fit in.
As I got older, I believed that it was my intellectual abilities that made me special. I was able to grasp ideas and concepts quickly. I was the straight A student, on the honour roll and all! Then I went to university, and found myself surrounded by smarter people and my notions of intellectual superiority and specialness quickly disappeared.
Of course at the time, I didn’t realize that I was allowing my ego to cloud my mind and deceive myself into believing that I wasn’t extraordinary! I went from believing that I could achieve anything I wanted, to believing that I was limited to living a mediocre life. I really began to think that abundance and prosperity were meant for a chosen few and the rest of us were sentenced to a life of struggle and lack.
This belief that I was intended to live an unsatisfactory life did not sit well with me and I was in a constant state of discontent and uneasiness. I was on a never-ending search for the perfect job, the perfect relationship, the perfect body – hoping these things would provide me with a sense of fulfillment. As I hopped from job to job and lived through the disappointment of failed relationships, I realized that the answers weren’t going to come from external sources and I needed to go within and dig deep.
I used to think that wanting more for my life beyond what I was experiencing was simple wishful thinking. I now realize that the desire for more is a yearning to connect with the extraordinary life I was meant to live. It isn’t selfish or conceited to believe that that you are meant for greatness! We are all meant to live extraordinary lives; some of us just haven’t figured that out yet!
I have come to realize that pursuing my passions is the way to connect to my greatness. When I am doing activities that support the things I’m passionate about, life just seems to flow so much easier! I feel lighter, and it becomes simpler to find joy in life. What I find interesting is the fact that the ego still tries to mess with you and fearful thoughts of failure creep in just as you start to worry about taking risks and the consequences of pursuing your dreams. You start questioning yourself: “can I make a living doing this?”; “will my friends and family think I’m crazy because I want to do this?” There are so many doubts that your ego will throw your way to make you question whether or not you are truly capable or deserving of living an extraordinary life.
It makes me think of the famous passage from one of Marianne Williamson’s books, A Return to Love where she says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” Why are we afraid of our power? Because it makes us totally responsible for the life we are living. If you are unsatisfied or unhappy with the live you are currently living, you have the power to change it for the better. You always have a choice, will you choose to wade in the pool of ordinary or are you ready to dive into the sea of extraordinary? I’m taking the plunge, and I hope you’ll join me! ♥