Advice to my younger self

December 14, 2023 Sandra Dawes

I saw a quote about regret the other day, and it got me thinking about what I would tell my younger self if I had the chance. There was a time when I would have told her to avoid all my mistakes and make better choices, but now that’s not the advice I would give.

I would tell my younger self not to beat myself up so much about the mistakes. It’s wasted time, especially since it doesn’t undo anything. My advice would be to reflect on the experience and take note of the things I’ll do differently next time.

I would remind myself that we’re not all having the same realizations simultaneously, and I should be more empathetic and patient with people struggling with challenges I’ve already overcome.

I’d suggest letting go of my need to please everyone and letting me know that it’s a losing battle that will leave me feeling underappreciated and frustrated.

I would tell my younger self not to underestimate myself so much! There was a time when I didn’t think I was particularly good at anything. I felt like a generalist, decent at a lot, but it took me a long time to realize that just because things come easy to me, it doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone else.

The advice to stop letting fear control my decisions is another piece of advice I’d give myself. I was in my thirties when I read Susan Jeffers’ book Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, and it was a game changer. After that, whenever fear crept in, I’d ask myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” My vivid imagination would create scenarios that seem right out of a cheesy, scary movie. It gives me a good laugh, and I feel better about facing that fear.

I’d tell her that just because goals don’t happen the way I think they will doesn’t mean it won’t happen. I’d ask her to stop believing the world must work a certain way. Stop looking at the world in black and white, and keep an open mind.

Last but not least, I’d tell my younger self never to question the blessings but never forget to express gratitude for them.

Given that I’m a few years from the big 5-0, I wonder if my advice will change as I grow older (hopefully wiser). It’ll be interesting to see how my perspective changes in the years ahead! ❤️

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