We’ve been back home for almost a month, and I still don’t feel like I’ve settled into a routine yet. Our month away was non-stop, tying up loose ends, seeing friends and family, and getting specific tasks done. We completed everything we wanted, but I’m still playing catch-up energy-wise.
There used to be a time when I would be frustrated with myself for not getting everything I wanted to do in the time I wanted it to. Now, I’ve let go of the need to rush when imposing deadlines on myself. It’s one thing if I need to submit something for a specific date; that stuff needs to get done, but for other things, I’m lucky to have more flexibility, and I’m learning to take advantage of it.
This isn’t to say I’m giving myself permission to procrastinate; it just means I’m letting go of the illusion that everything I do is urgent because it isn’t. I’m learning to be kinder to myself and let go of the feeling that everything is contingent on my work because it doesn’t.
I used to embrace busyness like it was a badge of honour. Now, I realize that there is a vast difference between being busy and being productive. It’s taken some time, but I now understand that you can increase your productivity when you let go of being busy and slow things down.
Slowing things down allows you to think clearly and make better decisions. I find that when I do things in haste, it never ends well. I work better when I can work at my own pace and don’t feel rushed. I used to think I worked well under pressure, but as I get older, I don’t enjoy being under pressure.
I’m happy I’ve come to terms with giving myself permission to slow down moving forward. I feel like I have more energy to give to urgent things without feeling drained. I’m learning to manage my energy, so I have enough to do the things that need to get done when they need to.