I believe that sometimes we can mask our selfishness under the guise of “doing the right thing.” In most cases, the right thing is code for the thing that makes us feel better about the situation. Often, it’s not what the person who the “right thing” is being done for actually wants, but somehow we’ve convinced ourselves that we know better.
I was watching something the other day where one of the family members was going against the wishes of the person who was sick, based on the belief that if the person were in their sound mind, they would agree that the circumstances warrant what the family member wants. It’s a very familiar situation to me, and I was in a similar situation after my father died.
My dad has always talked about being cremated and having his ashes stored in one of the Cricket trophies he had won. When the time came to make arrangements after he died, no one in the family felt good about creating him and decided to bury him. I reminded everyone that it wasn’t what my father wanted, but others dismissed his wishes because they couldn’t bear to see him cremated.
In hindsight, I wish I had fought harder to fulfill my father’s wishes, though something tells me the result would have been the same.
We should have more empathy for those who can’t speak for themselves in situations like that. We need to give more thought to the desires of others, even when it isn’t what we want for them or would choose for ourselves. I believe we can be more empathetic when we think about how we would like our wishes to be respected, even when we can’t advocate for ourselves.
Even though fulfilling the wishes of others might make you uncomfortable because it isn’t the choice you would make for yourself, it doesn’t give you the right to choose the decision you want. It’s not about you. I believe that’s the most important thing to remember in times when you’re faced with deciding for someone else:
IT’S.NOT.ABOUT.YOU.
It can be challenging to accept that there are times when you have to decide for someone else. It’s not about making the decision you would choose for yourself. To honour your loved one in the best way possible, you should put their wishes ahead of your own. That’s how you demonstrate your unconditional love for that person. ♥