I used to consider myself a realist, never expecting “best case scenario” because that wasn’t realistic. I don’t like disappointment (who does?), so I like to prepare myself for the let down before it happens. It took me a long time to realize that when I expected the worst, the chances were pretty good I was going to get it. It always turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophesy, and after reading a lot of books, I realized I was sabotaging myself by participating in negative goal setting.
I’ve heard it said that worrying is simply negative goal setting, and I think that constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop doesn’t help us realize our goals. The truth is that what we focus on expands. If we are pursuing our goals with thoughts that it probably won’t work out, you’ve already set the stage for disappointment.
I’m realizing that I need to let go of the need to control the outcome. If it doesn’t work out, it’s okay. Having things not go according to plan isn’t the end of the world. It doesn’t feel good, but… (here it comes again) everything happens for a reason. When things don’t go the way you planned or hoped it would, it’s not a sign that the goal wasn’t worth achieving, it just means that you have to look for another way to make it happen.
Disappointment doesn’t have to lead to being discouraged. When things don’t go according to plan, it isn’t a sign that your goal wasn’t meant to be, it’s a sign that you need a new plan. If the goal you’re pursuing is important enough to you, giving up shouldn’t be an option. It can be an exhausting process that takes a lot of time and energy, but it will be worth it.
Stop preparing for the worst as some sort of shield against all that could go wrong. Prepare yourself for anything, things could go bad, but they could also go better than you ever imagined. Focus on what you have control over and leave the rest to unfold as it will.
I don’t think it’s a matter of whether the glass is half empty, or half full; the question you need to ask yourself is how that glass of water can bring you closer to the realization of your goals. Focus on what you want to happen and stop worrying about the chances of the worst happening. ?