Learning not to take things personally has been one of my biggest challenges and why I had to include it as a chapter in my upcoming book Embrace Your Destiny: 12 Steps to Living the Life You Deserve. It’s amazing how easy it is to think every negative remark is a subtle (or overt) dig when our insecurities and negative feelings hold us hostage! Today’s post is written by Cara Wilde. I hope you enjoy it! Please feel free to share comments below 🙂 ~ Sandra
Don’t take it personally
Don’t take anything personally
AND
Take Everything personally
I know.
Paradox.
Stay with me. Paradoxes have power.
Hold this one paradox in your mind through life and transitions make more sense.
It’s not personal.
When you are about to take a leap into the unknown, especially if you are embarking on a new career path you have been longing to embrace, you are going to encounter what Joseph Campbell called the threshold guardians.
People can feel threatened when we make a big change in our lives, when we choose to follow our dreams.
It’s not personal. Look at it like this; life can be like a long bus ride. You get on and there is one destination, you’re in for the long haul. You begin to feel divine discontent, something’s not right. You’re pretty sure you didn’t sign up for this. The view looks like it belong to your parents, conversations with fellow travelers aren’t nourishing you and it might be getting pretty stuffy! You don’t feel as though you belong. You see the bell. Ring it!
The bus stops. You’re getting off.
Other passengers cry out. They don’t want you to get off. They tell you you can’t. “Start the bus I’ll be late”. “You’re breaking the rules”. What they are actually saying is “it was easier when I didn’t think I had a choice”. These are the threshold guardians calling you to stay put, not to leave this tribe.
Allow others their conformity to the ordinary world, you don’t need to battle or argue with them. Some of them are on the right bus, you’re not.
Give yourself permission get off the bus. Other people’s fears and doubts are not your guidance in life.
It’s all personal
Everything in your environment, your home, your relationships, the pets you have, don’t have, your bank account balance, are a reflection of you in relationship to them.
Life shows you what you are settling for.
Let’s go deeper.
All those fears and doubts you are hearing from other people are merely echos of your own inner self.
How you choose to respond to those people is really an indicator of how you are treating yourself. If you pay attention to them, you are following your fears and doubts. If you scream and shout at them, you are doing that to yourself. Sometimes we need to give a firm No to make way for our bigger Yes. We don’t need to battle.
If you view the passengers through the eyes of compassion, knowing that they are doing their best from their own perspective, you can treat them kindly, with a soft smile, and still get off the bus.
You can take this one step further and thank them. Thank them for showing you that you are about to embark on the hero’s journey, that you have heard the whisperings of divine discontent in your life and are ready to answer the calling of your deeper self. Your threshold guardians are a valuable gift; they only show up when you about to embark on something wonderful and, when you soften towards them, you soften towards yourself and the fears and doubts can become your allies.
Pay less attention to the external noise of criticism and turn your attention inwards. Create the inner shifts, soothe your own fears and doubts and they won’t need to show up in your outer reality or, if they do, they will have nothing to hold on to. You’ll find yourself smiling at the criticisms (yes, really) or you’ll assume they are just having a bad day. Other people’s words rarely hurt unless they resonate with you at some level.
Times when you might meet your threshold guardians
Doing something new invites the guardians in. They are most likely to shout the loudest when you are making big changes. Changing careers, moving location, leaving a long term relationship. The bigger the leap, the louder they shout.
Sometimes their voices are quieter – your first blog post, first client, going out on a date with someone new, putting up your prices, a completely new hairstyle.
Every single one of us has them. We’re supposed to. How else would be know that we are leaving the shore of safety and weaving ourselves a path of delight?
They are our friends, each fear has a gift, a golden treasure to be reclaimed. In them are the seeds of our power that we gave away when we conformed to what others wanted for us. When we acknowledge them for what they are, sit with them, give them love and soothe them, they can transform into our greatest allies.
When you take life very personally, and not personally at all, you can transcend the ordinary and live the magical.
About the Author:
Cara Wilde is a trained counsellor and energy therapist with a passionate commitment to authentic and joyful living. Her extensive understanding of energy psychology and metaphysics combined with her natural abilities as an intuitive and empath, allow her to be a pure and clear channel for the non-physical being known as Aurora.
This loving, non-judgemental and deeply wise being speaks through Cara giving guidance from a higher perspective supporting people in reclaiming their authenticity. Cara offers one-one consultations with Aurora and you can find out more about their work together at www.WildBliss.com and come over and chat on her facebook page.