This is an excerpt from the sixth chapter of my upcoming book Embrace Your Destiny: 12 Steps to Living the Life You Deserve. Wayne Dyer says that when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. I know that this isn’t just a nice inspirational quote, but the Truth. I hope you enjoy the excerpt. Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments! ~ Sandra
When I was facing difficult times in my life, it was hard to see the bright side. When I got into my first car accident, I didn’t think, “Thank God it was only the car that was damaged and I’m still okay!” I was worried about the fact that I had more than likely written off the car and that my parents were going to be livid that I had allowed it to happen. I remember calling my dad to break the news to him, and the first question he asked was whether I was okay, and I said I was. He proceeded to say that was all that really mattered, that cars can get fixed or replaced. At the time I thought he was just saying that to make me feel better. Now I think that he was trying to show me that I needed to shift my perspective. I was focused on the damage to the car, rather than being grateful that I was still in one piece! That kind of thinking, which puts so much importance on material objects, doesn’t even make sense to me now. What matters more than our health and well-being? I did need to shift my perspective, but I wasn’t ready to at the time, and it took quite a few years for me to understand what a difference a change in perspective can make in the way you live your life. Do we choose to live life as if everything is hard, or do we live it as if it’s an amazing journey with the occasional uncomfortable stay at a one-star hotel? Louise Hay uses the example of waking up in the morning and hearing that it’s raining outside. Do you think to yourself that it’s going to be a miserable day, or do you say to yourself that it’s going to be a wet day? Both are true, depending on what view you take, and that’s precisely the mindset that you will carry with you for the rest of your day!
When my father passed away, no one could tell me that it wasn’t the end of the world. It certainly felt like it was. At the time, everything I viewed in life came from a perspective of doom and gloom. I didn’t appreciate being told that one day I would be reunited with my dad. Gee thanks, on top of dealing with my father’s death, now you’ve got me thinking about my own mortality! There was little that could comfort me. There were times when I was reasonable enough to admit that at least in death, my father was no longer suffering. That was as good as it got when it came to anything positive coming from that experience, because I was looking at the world through a hazy fingerprints-and-dirt-all-over-it lens. I wasn’t seeing anything in a positive light. I was easily angered, with lots of hurt feelings, and completely immersed in my sorrow. I didn’t know how to recognize anything good in the world anymore, so it was no wonder that I was experiencing so much bad! I had convinced myself that the world was a cold, uncaring and unforgiving place, so it should have been no surprise that I was encountering people and situations that proved my perception to be absolutely correct. I didn’t like the reality I was experiencing, but I didn’t realize that I was the one who created it. I was the one doing it to myself!