I used to have a lot of expectations of the people in my life. I would expect that if I did something nice for them, they would express their gratitude and in time, do something nice for me… Needless to say, this led to a lot of disappointment over the years and I had to learn that in whatever you do, you need to let go of expectations. I learned that you have to do what you’re doing for others because you want to and not because you’re expecting something in return. I used to believe that I was giving unconditionally, but unconsciously I was keeping score…
I also had a lot of expectations around the holidays or birthdays or anniversaries. Flowers on my birthday, roses and chocolates on Valentine’s Day… I expected to be showered with gifts and love on these days, and as I got older, birthdays and Christmas in particular, were pretty anti-climactic… I guess part of the problem was the fact that I had all these expectations, but have never verbalized them. I guess I figured that the people in my life should know what it is that I wanted. I was of the mindset that I shouldn’t have to ask, and that the people in my life should know me well enough to know what it is that I want. Unfortunately the people in my life aren’t mind readers, so often, I was left upset and bitter.
I have learned to release my expectations as well as improve my communication and actually express myself if I need help or if there is something important to me that I would like others to participate in. It isn’t always easy, and I admit that I still do slip into old habits, but it’s encouraging to actually catch myself and talk myself through it as opposed to getting angry and alienating the important people in my life. ♥
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